A good week

Yep, it's been a good week. I guess we could start counting back when we met the Funkles for dinner on Friday night. It's been since NYE 2007/2008 that we were all together. We had so much fun, and I absolutely don't want to wait that long again.

I finished Love in the Time of Cholera. Meh. It is beautifully written, but I just never cared about the characters. Some quotes are at the bottom of this post, though.

What else?

Oh, I slayed the email beast this week - knocking out the 177 unread messages that were in my inbox on Monday, along with 38 in my action folder, and almost all the ones that were coming in during the week. As of my leaving work today, there were 13 emails in the action folder and zero in the inbox. Woo hoo!

And finally, only one more day of work before we go on vacation for a full week, and a whole new batch of emails populate my computer. But at least I'm not starting out behind.


From the book:
"He was still too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and that thanks to this artifice we manage to endure the burden of the past."

"She had barely turned the corner into maturity, free at last of illusions, when she began to detect the disillusionment of never having been what she had dreamed of being when she was young."

I love and desperately missed Jack Bauer

There's really nothing more to say.

Just a Spare

A lovely image greeted me this morning when I let Millie in.



The neighbor's tree missed only one board in that particular section of our fence. The wind and rain combined to uproot the thing and drop it right across our back yard. What's amazing is that it missed the swing entirely (thank goodness), and even the chairs escaped damage. We're also very lucky it was that thin little (though tall) poplar, instead of one of the massive pine trees that surround our house.

Honestly, I'm not even sure when this tree came down, though it must have been last night. We didn't hear a thing, but I can't imagine I would have missed that all day yesterday.




We're also lucky that Millie no longer feels the need to wander about, because she was out for a while this morning. I don't look into the back yard when I put her out - just open the door and let her go. It's usually dark, anyway. But when I went to the back door to let her in, there she was running around the yard - and that's when I spotted the tree.

Goodbye Versatile Video

After 28 years of business, Versatile Video is closing its doors. The owner, Chuck, is retiring. It was a wonderful place to patronize and to work.



Versatile Video was my second "real" job. I started there when I was 16 years old, and worked through high school and even on Christmas, spring break, and summers until I was out of college. It was a fantastic job. An independent video store, we had an amazing array of regular customers. Mr. Jenson comes to mind, mainly. He'd stop by to rent about five movies for the weekend after he'd gotten his peanut butter and 10 loaves of bread to feed the raccoons and possums in his backyard.

VV employees were responsible for my first hangover - because of which I had to call in sick to work. Is that irony?

It Ain't All Bad

It's good to remember that there has been good news in 2008.

2008 Wrap-Up

All in all, 2008 was a good year for us. Sure, our 401(k)s lost about 35% of their value. We’re young, though, and still have good jobs with good companies - which is very much something to be thankful for. And, well, a few things didn’t happen that we would have liked. As every good sports fan knows, though, there’s always next year.

We did enjoy a lot of great entertainment and travel in 2008, so in the spirit of the good things that happened in 2008, the list below lays it out (in no particular order) as best can be remembered. A couple of accomplishments are listed, but, yes, mostly it’s entertainment and travel. We have a good life. (Oh, and please note I realize all of this is superficial. This is not meant to be a list of the truly wonderful things in our lives like family and friends.)

Got It Done:
Paid off credit card debt
“New” car for Dave

Travel:
San Antonio, TX
Charleston, SC (x2)
Hollywood, FL
Tarpon Springs, FL
Durham, NC
Birmingham/Huntsville, AL
Hilton Head, SC
Whitney Alone: Minneapolis, MN
Dave Alone: NYC (x4), Tampa, FL; Chicago; Miami, FL

Books Read:
Atonement* – Ian McEwan
Born Standing Up* – Steve Martin
Twilight*, New Moon*, Eclipse*, and Breaking Dawn* – Stephenie Meyer
The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway
Our Town – Thornton Wilder
Eat Pray Love – Elizabeth Gilbert
Tender is the Night – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Mere Christianity – C.S. Lewis
Empire Falls* – Richard Russo
The Great Gatsby* – F. Scott Fitzgerald (3rd reading)
Sarum – Edward Rutherford
I, Lucifer – Glen Duncan
Wicked – Gregory Maguire
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof – Tennessee Williams
Until I Find You – John Irving
The Second Coming – Walker Percy.

Concerts/Shows:
Reckless Kelly* at the Variety Playhouse (x2)
Reverend Horton Heat* with Nashville Pussy (Variety Playhouse)
Atlanta Symphony* with Joshua Bell (Copland, Barber, and Bartok)
Atlanta Symphony* free show at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater
Atlanta Symphony* Christmas Concert
Harry Connick, Jr.* (Cobb Energy Center)
Les Miserables* (Fox Theater)
Eddie Izzard* (Cobb Energy Center)

Movies (Theater):
Wanted*
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Atonement*
Dark Knight*
Twilight* (x3)
Quantum of Solace* (x2)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Tropic Thunder* (x2)
Iron Man*
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button*
Burn After Reading*
Sex & The City
Run, Fat Boy, Run
Max Payne
Wall-E*

Movies (Rented):
Simpsons Movie
Forgetting Sarah Marshall*
The Happening
Death at a Funeral*
August Rush
Last King of Scotland*
Penelope
Maybe Baby
Green Street Hooligans*
Vantage Point
The Bank Job
Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show*
Fool’s Gold
The Lookout
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Pride and Prejudice (miniseries)
Mr. Brooks
Balls of Fury
Enchanted*
Gone Baby Gone*
Tristan and Isolde
Night at the Museum
Once*
Shoot ‘Em Up
Day Watch
Tender Mercies
Lars and the Real Girl
Eagle Eye
Trainspotting
Miller’s Crossing*
Sweeney Todd

CDs Purchased (mostly bought used):
What is Beat – The English Beat
Rumours – Fleetwood Mac
Perfect Symmetry – Keane
Catalogue of Generous Men – Modern Skirts
Greatest Hits – Rick Astley
Reckless Kelly was Here*, Bulletproof*, and Wicked Twisted Road* – Reckless Kelly
Use Your Illusion I – Guns and Roses
The Delicate Sound of Thunder* – Pink Floyd
We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things* and Mr. A to Z – Jason Mraz
On a Clear Night* – Missy Higgins
Golden Road – Keith Urban
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace –Foo Fighters
Viva la Vida* and X&Y* – Coldplay
Crowded House*, Woodface* and Together Alone – Crowded House
Audioslave – Audioslave
Born on a Pirate Ship – Barenaked Ladies
All the Love You Need – Big Head Todd and the Monsters
Charlie Brown Christmas
Safe Trip Home – Dido
Twilight Soundtrack
Sweeney Todd Soundtrack
True Romance Soundtrack
The Apostle Soundtrack
New Miserable Experience – Gin Blossoms

* highly recommended (If it doesn’t have an asterisk, that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it.)

Merry Christmas

The Weekend

The weekend was busy but very very fun. The place was amazing - Twelve Atlantic Station. It's the third hotel we've stayed in because of an Imedex function that didn't feel at all like a hotel. Friday night started with the party mentioned below, and as you can tell, it went on for a while. The dj at the main party was fantastic, so I was on the dance floor most of the time. When we weren't dancing, we were either eating, drinking, or Dave was busy winning enough in gift cards for us to buy a 40" Toshiba LCD TV on Saturday morning.

The afterparty - where I continued drinking, having moved on to champagne - lasted until about 3:30am.

We woke up about 9am, and I was surprisingly not very hungover. I didn't feel great, but the only real issue was a splitting headache that went away after about four Advil. However I was completely exhausted, so the rollerskating plans that Stacy and I had didn't actually happen. I took a nap, and then Dave and I went to dinner and a movie with his sister and brother-in-law.

Longhorn, as usual, was great. The Day the Earth Stood Still, on the other hand, even in IMAX, was just ok.

I know I promised some pictures of the new do, so they are below - along with some other pictures from our trip to Florida a couple of weeks ago.


Packing to leave for the party. The hair's a mess, but well, that's what I like about it. It doesn't really matter when it's a mess. As a matter of fact, that's kind of the point.


The view from our hotel room at the holiday party - looking East.


Looking West


Bedroom at Twelve




Kitchen and Living Room


I don't know what I was thinking with all that make-up. All I can say is that I was in a hurry to get to the party ...


Surprisingly early in the evening.


Not surprisingly, this is later on in the evening.


This is me slightly hungover, so the hair isn't exactly as it should look, but you probably get the idea. And this is definitely the picture that shows the new color the best.



The Westin Diplomat - Hollywood, FL



This one's for you, Stacy


The pools from a balcony at the event center


newest tattoo

12:19am

1 glass of wine
$750 AMEX gift cards won in drawing = new hd lcd tv, most likely
5 jack and cokes - strong because the bartender liked my new haircut
1 glass dropped on the floor and shattered - yeah, that was the last j&c I had
afterparty in room 420 - seriously ... on our way.

piictures tomorrow - or sometime later

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year or ...

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
-This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
-It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
-It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

(full disclosure: I did not come up with this; it was stolen from a coworker)

New Hair

Well, it's been a while since I got anything tattooed or pierced, and I needed a change. So, it ended up being the hair.

Until I can get a decent picture posted, you'll have to just imagine me with Sharon Osborne's hair (yes, color and cut).

No, I hadn't planned it that way, but it turns out this is really the best possible comparison.

The things we learn

It amazes me that after 33 years on this planet, I learn new stuff about myself all the time. It puts things in perspective and has made me realize how much other stuff there is to learn and that I never really will get it all. I don't have a problem with that; it's just interesting to realize and understand.

So anyway, what have I learned about myself recently?

I don't like Santa songs. I do love Christmas music, and started to realize this year that I prefer the more religious Christmas songs. So I initially thought that maybe I've become less of a fan of the secular songs, but that's not it at all. I really love many of the non-religious songs. What I generally don't like, though, are the Santa songs. For the most part, they bug the daylights out of me.

So much for more quiet

Last night was another birthday gathering. Tonight is more Christmas shopping. Tomorrow night - friends coming over, Saturday night - symphony, Sunday night - Christmas tree, Monday night - haircut, Tuesday night - soccer (scratch that; Tuesday is a concert), Wednesday night - 7pm work meeting, 18th - free!!!!!! (so far), 19th - party, 20th dinner with family, 21st - family day. I mean, seriously, this is just ridiculous. But I wouldn't not do any of it.

I still want to blog some stuff during all this; I've been reading such great books lately. But I can't make any promises.

I really do

want to blog, but it's just been crazy around here. I should have something new up this week, though. Tomorrow and Thursday should be a little quieter (more quiet?).

Twilight

Yep, we went to see it this weekend, but we waited until Sunday. While I didn't really want to wait, we did because Dave was out of town until late Saturday night. Turns out this was a good thing. If the conversation and giggling (and cussing) during Sunday's matinee were any indication, Friday would have been an absolutely miserable experience. As it was, I was cracking up half the time, listening to the little girls behind us.

I really enjoyed the movie, but it was impossible to watch it "objectively" - as if I'd never read the book. I was constantly thinking about where it was going and how it may be different, so I'll be curious to see if I watch it differently next time, now that I know what changes they made from the book to the movie.

The cool part is that there were a few things that would likely have been missed, or at least not as fully understood, by those who haven't read the books. And I can see why people who haven't read the books wouldn't necessarily enjoy the movie on its own.

I'm really excited for the sequels, though, because I'm sure they've learned a lot from this one and will do even better next time.

Also, the Harry Potter trailer was awesome.

No Upcoming Appointments

What a wonderful phrase to see on the phone. No upcoming appointments. Aaahhhhhh.

Tonight is all about packing up for six days in our favorite town.

So far, there are only two things scheduled for this trip.
1 - Quantum of Solace Friday afternoon
2 - Georgia vs. Auburn at Home Team on Saturday with great friends who we don't see nearly enough

The rest is wide open, but likely to include trips to a few fantastic restaurants, some beach time, and plenty of relaxing - maybe even some history.

Words can't express how excited I am about this trip. So I'll just leave it at that and talk to y'all when we're back in Atlanta.

Empire Falls

So, when I finished reading, I kind of skipped right over any mention of Empire Falls. This was a great book that I read pretty quickly and very much enjoyed. The author writes with beautiful insight. Some of my favorite quotes:

"There was much to be thankful for, even if the balance of things remained too precarious to inspire confidence, so on nights like this one his life seemed almost ... almost enough."

"People were just themselves, their efforts to be otherwise notwithstanding."

"She was pretty, smart, shy and full of fun without knowing quite yet how to express this latent side of her personality. Neither popular nor unpopular, she wore unfashionable clothes at her mother's insistence and somehow intuited, as certain remarkable young girls will, that there were worse things than not being popular, that life was long, that she would one day have perfectly adequate breasts, that in fact there was nothing wrong with her ..."

"I mean, what if we assume our relationship to God to be one thing, and it's really something else? What if there's something central to the equation that we're leaving out? Maybe, like children, we assume ourselves to be of central importance, and we're not. Maybe the inequities that consume us here on earth aren't really the issue."
"So feeding the hungry isn't important?"
"Not exactly. Maybe it's important, but not quite in the way we think. Maybe, to God, it's our way of expressing the 'something else' that passeth beyond all understanding. Something we aren't meant to understand."
"Nonsense." Miles grinned. "I understand your grandmother perfectly, and so do you. You're trying to make a mystery out of selfishness."
Father Mark chuckled. "Yeah, I guess. She was a mean, self-centered old harridan. Still, we're attracted to a good mystery. Explanation, no matter how complete, isn't really that satisfying ..."

Twisting and Turning

Lately my head has been spinning all the time. I’m not eating much, even though I’m hungry all the time (because I’m not eating much). Well, it seems that I’m only not hungry when I have food in front of me. I haven’t been like this in forever, not to this degree. Yeah, I always go through my little pensive times. But they only last a few days, and they’re pretty mild, and spread apart. So far now, it’s been almost a week, and there’s not an end in sight. And I just had a shorter one less than two months ago. I hope that writing this all down helps get it out and keep it out.

The thing is that I don’t really know what to write down. I don’t know exactly what it is that has me twisted up. Well, I know what it is, but I don’t know what the solution is – what to do about all these questions in my head, not even how to answer them. In the past, when I’ve been this twisted up, it’s been pretty obvious what was going on, but not this time. Well, there are plenty of things on the horizon that could obviously be causing this, but they are things that have been on the horizon for a year – work stuff and trying to start a family. So, why now? That’s why I don’t think it’s those things, specifically.

So, what is it, then? As I’ve been thinking about all this over the last few days, one philosophical conversation keeps popping into my head. And, yes, that question is related to the things that have been coming for some time, but it’s also beyond them. So the question is this: “Why do we have this internal battle between living a life of passion and a life of comfort? Can we happily live both?” I honestly feel selfish and pampered even asking the question. In most people’s lives, there is only enough to get by every day, to struggle just to make it, never mind the luxury of asking “why?”.

But here I am, clearly with enough comfort in my life to ask that question. Why?

And while I’m doing this, I’m feeling incredibly guilty, because I shouldn’t be doing this right now. I should be doing other things. But my brain is nowhere else. I tried to distract my brain from this all weekend – dinner out, dancing, football game, soccer game, dinner out again, concert. And it’s still there – just under the surface of everything else.

Why?

Why?
Why?
Like an irritating three year-old child.

This is what mid-life crises are made of, right? One day you wake up, and there you are, in a life you built one decision at a time, and a life in which you are happy, but somehow there’s something missing. And can a couple of weeks of vacation every year really fill that void – no matter how exciting the vacation is? How you can you live the life of passion you crave without destroying the security you need? Is that possible? Can a couple cool vacations really do the trick? Honestly, do I just need a vacation?

But, damn, I’m only 33. Is it really time to be having this internal crisis? Well, yeah, it is, because I don’t want to have this crisis later. I want to make a decision to live a life of passion, in some way or another. I feel so boring. I’m so sick of being boring.

Or am I just bored? I shouldn’t be. I have a good life – a GREAT life. I have a husband who I love immensely, and who loves me so much more than I can even comprehend sometimes. We have a nice house in a nice area. I work for a good company with wonderful people, where I am well-paid. We want for nothing essential. Sure, there are luxuries we can’t afford, but there are plenty that we can afford. I am painfully aware of all of this. Am I just paranoid that one day I’ll wake up, it will all be gone, and then what will I have?

So where does this desire come from? That was the original question running through my mind this weekend. Are we just conditioned from watching too many movies (and reading too many books) that a passionate life is the best way to go, and that the mundane is nothing to be desired? But really, why in the world would someone want to be Romeo or Juliet? Why would someone want to be James Bond, or to be with James Bond? But we do, don’t we?

Or someone does – the artists, the writers who create these stories. Are they pushing their own desires onto us, where we swallow them whole and think of how woefully short our own lives have come up? Or, is that a load of crap, similar to The Tyranny of the Mustard – oh how awful life is in a society where people struggle from having too many choices? Oh, it’s such a burden. Woe is me. Those terrible Hollywood people make me want things I wouldn’t otherwise desire.

I guess you can see where I’m going here. I don’t think that it’s Hollywood’s fault, or Ernest Hemingway’s, or Stephenie Meyer’s, Ian Flemming’s, or Jimmy Buffet’s. I think there is something in all of us that longs for the passion and the drama and something that needs safety and security. Most of us choose to live our lives in the comfort most days, and then we go to the movies or read books or go on vacation to meet the need for the passion and drama. But what if that’s not enough? How do you even know if that’s not enough? Where and how do you personally draw the line between the two? Is the line always moving? My line sure seems to be moving right now. It’s bouncing back and forth like a freaking Geiger counter.

And what if some of the things you want are in direct conflict with each other? How do you decide then? How do you know which one you’ll regret most if you choose not to, or are somehow not able to, do it? What if your head tells you one thing, and your heart another? What if you go for one, miss it, and then the other is also out of reach?

Ugh, this is so fucking self-indulgent. So fucking American.

I hate myself for even thinking all this, much less writing it down and putting it out for everyone to see. But somehow, I need to do this, too. Hopefully, it will help me move forward and focus on the things I should be focused on right now.

I know what I’ll decide. Because I’m so damn practical – always so practical.

But will it be enough? If not, what then? And if it is, for how long will it be enough?

Well

As if illustrating the last post, I finished the second book - New Moon - last night/this morning. 300+ pages read between 9:30pm and whenever it was that I finished.

I think I'll wait a couple days to start the next one.

Little Obsessions

So, I’ve recently discovered something about myself. Like America in 1492, it was already there, but this is the first time I’ve put it all together and come up with a theme.

I get what I have decided to call “little obsessions”.

I don’t know if anyone noticed that the last book I had up on Shelfari as “I’m Reading Now” was only up there for four days. If anyone did, y’all are visiting my site more often and paying more attention than I thought. If not, well, I’m not surprised – after all, it was only four days. That being said, the Twilight series is my new little obsession. I’ll get into the books a little more in another post I’m sure, but what has fascinated me is that I’ve actually identified this within myself.

What’s also interesting is that I went for a long time without any little obsessions, and in the last year or so, I’ve had a few. I don’t know what the gap was all about, but it’s been so much fun to be back in that mode. I don’t really know how healthy it is, but it is fun.

You see, when I was in high school, I would become quite smitten with certain boys, and I think it’s the relationship in Twilight and its similarity to my own thought processes at that time in my life that helped me make the connection between those obsessions and the less personal obsessions I get now.

There is a certain sense of life I feel when I’m focused on one thing, and strength that I feel when I can almost rid myself of thoughts of the subject – almost – just enough to do other things. (This all sounds so creepy when I write it down.) And maybe “obsession” is the wrong word; I guess that’s why I’ve added “little” to the front of it.

Anyway, in the past (frankly, all the way back to elementary school), it was generally boys. I’m sure there are any number of my friends and family who can attest to the 5-10 lb weight loss I experienced at the beginning of a smitten time. (I wonder if Dave remembers me losing weight at the beginning of our relationship.)

But sometimes it was also movies – usually with cute boys – and books (I read a lot of It while walking between classes in high school). Now, though – and I’m sure Dave will be happy to hear this – it is movies, music, and books. Sometimes, it’s even spreadsheets – which will not surprise Dave one bit. Because what I’ve discovered is that this little obsession tendency also carries over into projects that I work on. For instance, I’m typing this when I should be doing any number of other things. But getting this out is all I can focus on, now that I’ve discovered it.

So, I read Twilight in four days – starting on Saturday night through to Tuesday’s lunch – which for me is really fast. Every spare minute (and some that weren’t exactly spare) was spent reading. I started the second book last night, and am already 225 pages in. I read 10 pages in the parking lot while I waited for Dave to join me for lunch today. I’ve found myself wanting to skip out on tonight’s workout and tomorrow night’s happy hour (I won’t) because I want to find out what happens next and spend more time with these characters. I’ve found myself thinking about it as soon as I wake up in the morning, ready to read more.

It’s that little tidbit that triggered the realization for me. Very recently, I’ve woken up thinking of other things, too – specifically, certain songs running through my head. And that’s when it hit me. I get these little obsessions again. And I like it. It’s an interesting feeling, and it reminds me of how I felt when I was younger. Those were really amazing times – everything I felt was so tangible, if that makes sense.

So what are some of my recent little obsessions?
- Twilight, and now New Moon
- The music of Reckless Kelly
- Lost in Translation
- Atonement (the movie, more than the book - though the book was fantastic)
(yeah, I know, sometimes I’m such a girl)
- Any song on my “pensive” playlist
- How in the world I’m going to successfully make some planned major changes in the next year (OK, this one’s not so little)

Next thing I know, I’ll be keeping my journals again – yes, plural. Each journal has its own specific purpose. Ugh. Like I said, it sounds insane to actually type this out.